


the pretty lies, the ugly truth

by nicolewithasoul



Series: wake me up, i wanna feel the sun (or JATP character studies) [2]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Character Study, F/F, F/M, Lesbian Carrie Wilson, i guess thats what this is, i may go back and change these, i still dont know how to tag, oh yeah carries mom is not good, please someone teach me how to tag, type thing, we will see, why? because i said so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:41:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27250642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nicolewithasoul/pseuds/nicolewithasoul
Summary: A look at Carrie Wilson and how she goes through life.
Relationships: Nick/Carrie Wilson
Series: wake me up, i wanna feel the sun (or JATP character studies) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2016515
Comments: 2
Kudos: 33





	the pretty lies, the ugly truth

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! I hope that you like this. The title is a lyric from Teen Idle by Marina and the Diamonds because that song gives me MAJOR Carrie vibes. I read it and I don't think that there are any trigger warnings that I need to add, but please let me know if there are. Let me know what you think!

She was bright. She sparkled under stage lights, rhinestones and glitter and diamonds.

But she had a fake light. She was the moon, only illuminated by the light of others. Her diamonds were fake. She leeched and she leeched and she leeched, like her father, like her mother. It was in her blood. 

She had grown up watching her mother and father fight, hurling words of hatred at each other. She watched her father wither away while her mother stole his light. And she had always pitied Trever Wilson, looked at him soulful eyes, and vowed that she would never be like her mother. 

Her mother left her when she was thirteen years old and she fell into pieces. She glued herself back together with poison and spite, candy pink and teenage angst. She let her friendship with Julie (and by extension Flynn) fall apart, letting them turn against her. She couldn’t deal with seeing the happy smiles, the way that a good mother loved (because that’s what Rose Molina was: a good mother) when hers was gone. The only thing that her mother was good at was being gone. 

High school came and she was born anew. She was perfect, popular and pink, dating the cute guy that everybody wanted. She was climbing and climbing and climbing to the top. She was singing and she was dancing and shining. She made new friends, used barbed words at her old friends. She pretended to forget, buried feelings deep down. And she looked happy, an outward sugar facade. But popularity came with a price. 

She was perfect and she was mean. Mistakes were not a thing that she knew, they weren’t words in her vocabulary. Tears never leaped to her eyes in public, the only expressions on her face pretty ones. Dirty Candi was rising, and as much as she hated it, her father’s money was helping. They were getting booking after booking, bright pop and pretty smiles getting them places. As she batted her eyelashes, as she puckered her lips for Nick to kiss, all she could think about was the way that Kayla had grinned at her when they came off the stage. All she could think about was the way that she didn’t want to kiss Nick, she didn’t want to kiss a boy at all. All she could think about was the way that her heart was aching. And she pushed those feelings down.

She pushed those feelings down and went on with her climb, one foot in front of the other. But then her world was torn apart. Julie started singing again, and Julie and the Phantoms overshadowed everything. They came out onto the scene and they obliterated everything that she had worked for. Dirty Candi was pushed to the side and she was forced to be a bystander. Nick broke up with her, one thing after another, it was blow after blow. 

The bombshell energy that had been in Dirty Candi turned into the energy that was rocking her life. It was transferred into her pain, into the bombs that slowly blew her life into shatters. The cracks stretched bigger and bigger with each injury until the last hit.

Her father, her hero, was a fraud. He had stolen his bandmate’s songs, he had taken all the credit. And suddenly she was alone. Her entire childhood was stained, the singing and the dancing had gone dark. And she cried in her room alone, pulled apart by things that she didn’t even do. 

But she was strong. She was not weak, she would not give up. She wouldn’t let herself be pulled down to the bottom of the chain. So she wiped her tears, sat up, and opened up the notes app on her phone. She would channel her pain into something good because she was a fighter. 

She was bright with her vanity lights reflecting off of her tears. She was bright when she removed all of the pink and the makeup, the wig and the fake diamonds. Carrie Wilson was bright on her own.

**Author's Note:**

> I live off comments, please leave one. I would love to know what you think!
> 
> Come yell at me on tumblr! [my tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/nicolewithasoul)


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